Brain Shmeg

9:01pm: Hmm, thought for the day... I've been thinking about meditation a bit more than usual. Ok, first, I think the brain acts a lot like a muscle. If you work at one mental activity, like logic or mathematics, your brain will start to devote more area to the part that does that.

Now, I had this thought of emotions as weights on strings. The other end of the string is attached to other parts of your brain. As you experience strong emotions, the force of them pulls at these other parts of your brain, shifting your perceptions, outlook, beliefs, and even, potentially, your sense of right and wrong. Through the appropriate meditation techniques, one can start exercising the parts of the brain that resists shifting through emotional influences. I had never really thought of things this way. I've used the word, 'centered,' but I had never really attributed a physical simile to it. I think I've been neglecting that recently. I realized last night that I'm allowing the rest of my brain to be jerked around too much by my emotions...

Well, I'm not very focused tonight... I'm off.

9:16pm: Ok, second day in a row. I didn't sleep well again last night, but this time it was due to a nasty storm. The storm didn't bother me, but my Lhasa Apso was scared out of his mind. I had a little dog pressed against my legs for half the night, shaking with fright. Poor little thing. At least the Star Trek Deep Space Nine marathon is still going today.

After talking with a friend of mine, dissolvd on here, I have to wonder if I've spent too much time focusing externally recently. I've been meditating one way or another since I was about ten. Some time around the year 2000, I changed my focus from internally, to looking externally. Now I wonder if I'm not loosing touch with my self...

Let's see... I gave some more thought to the ideas on matter and gravity... I'm playing with the idea that all matter exists in the 4th dimension, at least. This makes sense to me in a way. We can't talk about an object without giving 4-dimensional coordinates. There was a bridge over there from 1895 to 1985. Think of meeting someone, you need to set up not only a latitude and longitude, the corner of 1st street and 1st avenue, but a height, on the second floor, and a time, at 12:00. If any of the coordinates are off, you won't meet the other person. For what I'm thinking, the longer a body exists, the larger it's gravitational pull. This may be verifiable... Anyway, I do like how this little theory handles things like black holes. They would not only be easy to explain, but they would be an unavoidable outcome of having matter in the universe.

Ah well. My son is asleep. It's time to brew some tea and spend some time with my wife.

4:34pm: My First Post
My first post... I have no idea if this is going to be a regular thing or not. I've tried keeping a journal before, but I tend to get distracted, or lazy. Maybe if I can build a sense of community, or something like that.

Ah, a Deep Space Nine marathon on today... At least I'll have something to keep my mind off of the three potential job opportunities that aren't calling.

It's been over 2.5 years since I've had a, "real job." That's quite depressing. I've had a small paycheck here and there for doing odd jobs since then, but nothing like having a regular job. There are a lot of times that I question if I'm actually capable of doing a real job any more.

Life isn't all depressing. I've been able to spend a lot of time with my son. He's 19 months old now. He and I have developed a very strong bond. I love being with him so much.

I didn't get a full night's sleep again last night. This time I was up from about 4am. I started wondering about the whole Space/Time theory, and how gravitons might play into it... If gravity is just a warp in the space/time 'fabric' and if gravitons really have something to do with gravity, that seems to suggest that gravitons are somehow part of this space/time fabric. I suspect that gravitons are 4-dimensional particles... No evidence, just the beginnings of a possible theory. That lead me to wonder how we may experience a 4-dimensional object. It seems that we perceive movement through the 4th dimension as the progression of time, so my guess would be that we would experience 4-dimensional objects as 3-dimensional objects in some sort of strange flux...

Ah well. My wife and kid are playing in the living room, and it sounds like fun.

I'm off.